A Bemurkled Sapphire Nuzlocke

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All right, so we're using Spinda. Let's see what we have to work with.

Spinda's base stats are 60 in everything. This means Bamboo is, technically, a well-rounded mixed attacker. Her base stat total of 360 corresponds perfectly with the number of degrees in a circle. Mathematically speaking, she is twice as powerful as a Sunkern, and 60% as powerful as a Mew.

Bamboo has a Mild nature. That's not too bad. After all, Clark Kent was mild-mannered, and he turned out to be Superman. More to the point, she has increased special attack, which is convenient since in this generation her STAB moves are all physical.

As a Spinda, she has access to the exclusive move Teeter Dance, a special variant of Confuse Ray that confuses both opponents in a double battle... as well as your ally.

Aside from that, her potential moveset is quite wide, including Focus Punch, Psychic, Shadow Ball, and Brick Break... if you don't mind using some of your best TMs on a Spinda. Which we don't mind, obviously. We are going all in on the Spinda strategy here.

Most importantly, due to special programming, every Spinda has a unique pattern of spots! The staggering value of this strategic asset cannot easily be numerically qualified.

In summary, this was a terrible idea.